Change Of Plan…
Hi friend! Happy Friday Eve!
I was planning to write about depression today, but I changed my mind. The last post was pretty heavy, so I’ll save the depression post for later. Something to look forward to…I guess? Anyway, today I want to talk to you about change. I know, I know…you’re wishing I had just stuck with depression. Nobody likes change. Well, there are some people who do, but there are also some people who like math and I don’t understand them either.
Change CAN be a really great thing, but it can also be very scary. Especially for someone who can come up with five worst-case scenarios in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, I’m not talking about a friend or a friend of a friend. That person is me. I like to be comfortable. I mean who doesn’t? Marathon runners maybe? But, I’ve learned that being comfortable and being content are two different things.
This is a place where I am truly uncomfortable (I mean I could easily fall to my death), but very content.
“Content” is another one of those tricky words. We all want to be content, but we don’t like when someone tells us we should be content. I have been comfortable for the last six years, but I have not been content. Without going into too much detail (until the time is right), I’ll admit that I have devoted the majority of the last six years to a job that I absolutely HATE. Much more to come on this…
I’m teasing this story today because it is on my heart to tell you how valuable you are. You deserve to be CONTENT, not just comfortable. What do I mean by “comfortable” in the context of this post? I’m not talking about plush pillows or good walking shoes, I’m talking about being mentally comfortable. Why do people hate change so much? Fear. Fear of the unknown. People, myself included, would rather stay in a miserable situation than take the risk of finding out what change might have to offer. I have done this so many times y’all…like SO many.
One of my favorite places in the whole world.
I was in an abusive relationship in college, but I stayed for four and a half years. We weren’t married. We didn’t have children together, and he certainly wasn’t financially supporting me. But, I stayed because I was terrified to be alone, terrified to start over. I also feared I wasn’t mentally strong enough to survive a breakup, a tearing apart of everything I had known for over four years. I wish I could tell you that in some moment of empowerment, I left him and never looked back. Unfortunately, that is not the case. HE left ME. I honestly don’t know that I would have ever ended things. I was fully prepared to marry him, knowing that we would be miserable and suspecting we would get divorced.
Short periods of discomfort fall into perspective with a bird’s-eye view.
Have you ever heard the saying, “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t”? I’ve always thought it was such an interesting idea - the idea that something awful can be better than something unknown because it’s…you guessed it…COMFORTABLE. At the very least it’s familiar, and you know what to expect.
Several years ago I chose “content” as my word of the year. I wanted to truly settle into my life…very different than settling in my life. My goal was to focus on creating a beautiful and peaceful home, nurturing friendships, shopping less and learning to be okay with being alone (I was starting to think I was never going to get married. So, I tried to come to terms with it). I cannot say I mastered contentedness, but I can say I have a much better understanding of the word. Content does not mean the absence of change. Instead, I believe it means being happy, grateful and at peace. The restrictions of comfort are lifted by the freedom that comes with being content.
Take the risk. Be uncomfortable. It’s worth it.
-D
