It’s A Small World
While I do LOVE the Disney World ride, this post isn’t about that. It’s about a comment that was recently made to a friend of mine. The comment really affected my friend, and it stuck with me, as well.
Like many comments that our friends and family members make, this was not ill-intentioned. If anything it was said with care and concern as motives. But, it still stung for my friend, and I understand why. The comment was something along the lines of, “You’ve made your world very small.” See? … Not a terribly offensive comment…yet, here I am writing a blog post about it. So, what’s the deal?
Sometimes, for one reason or another, we need to have a small world. It could be a short-lived phase, or a lifelong pursuit (consciously or unconsciously). Both my friend and I suffer from anxiety and depression, which I will be the first to say probably makes us a little extra sensitive to comments like the one above. And…that’s allowed. We are coming from a different perspective. For me personally, I have intentionally made my world smaller in recent months. I have needed space and genuine support. A lot of people do not have a place in my current, post-wedding, post-nervous breakdown world. It’s not because they are bad people necessarily, but they still may not fit with my current goal to be my healthiest, happiest self. This isn’t the first time I have created a small world for myself, and it probably won’t be the last.
My reaction to hearing about this comment was one of, “Yea, and that’s the way I want it.” Whereas, my friend’s was more of, “That’s not true.” What people don’t understand is that sometimes just getting out of the house is a big deal to those of us suffering from a mental illness. That event we attended? We probably thought about backing out seven times throughout the day, and we will probably need at least seven days before we are ready to attend another social gathering. Our world is big (to us) because we left the house and interacted with people. We showed up. There have been days, in recent months, where going to the grocery store and getting home without feeling panicked felt like a huge accomplishment to me. Does that mean my world is small, by most definitions? Yep!
What do I mean by a small world? You know those people who just seem to know everyone? They are involved in everything, and are always “on”. That person does not have a small world. Their world is filled with people, events, celebrations, etc., and that is great…for them. But, for me? It sounds torturous. I don’t want to be out every night of the week. I don’t want to leave my house everyday. There are days I want to turn my phone off and communicate with no one except for my husband and my dogs. AND. THAT. IS. GREAT. TOO.
Who decided that a small world is a bad thing? Or, for that matter what a “small world” even is… I could make a handful of arguments that having a “big” world isn’t the best. But, I won’t…because people need different things. A big world might be great for you, whereas it would be very detrimental for me. A small world works well for me at this point in my life, but for you it might feel suffocating. It could even cause you to feel disconnected and/or depressed…the same way that a big world could easily make me feel.
My point is this: sometimes people who suffer from anxiety (or depression, or fill in the blank) make their world small out of necessity. It might be something they are implementing temporarily in order to get through a tough season. OR…it may be the way they cope long-term. My hope is this: we stop labeling certain ways of living/socializing as good vs. bad. The way I choose to spend my time and share myself is up to me, in the same way that yours is up to you. It really just comes down to thinking BEFORE we comment on the way someone else is living their life.
I think this is where I say something cliché like, “Do you.”
-D
